new year's eve

well it's the last day in the year 2005. we're getting into the 5th year in the 21st century. it's been slightly uneventful year for me. there's been many weddings, several funerals but not too much event in my own personal life. the highlights has to be, my slight departure from the japanese church. and discovering sol cafe. it's been overall busy for us at bistro kobe. there's been many things i wanted to do but wasn't able to do. i did go to king's fold. i discovered a wonderful place to retreat. meeting new people and renewing friendship has been a highlight this year of 2005. next year is going to be a big year in terms of my age. i'll be turning 3. yes back to being a kid. just kidding. i hope the year 2006 will be a good year for everyone. i will write back tomorrow some goals i have for the new year. God bless everyone. peace.

christmas weekend

this year christmas fell on a sunday. so the restaurant closed over the weekend. probably the first time and will not happen for awhile. the 24th i went to a friend's parent's home. we had peking duck. it was so delicious. then i headed to holy trinity for the christmas eve service. there were many ppl. it was nice to hear the choir as well to sing christmas songs. then on christmas day, i slept in because the eve service served me well. so in the afternoon i went to the japanese church. i was disappointed with the service as well at tea time. it was a semi organized service. with no warning of the fact there were many songs that was to be sung. i left before the message. i thought of the past of dual translation message. at tea time i felt that it was a group of people congregating amongs themselves. i spent a nice evening at my friend's home. we had a wonderful dinner. and i enjoyed talking with some of the people. it was good that i came, there i met someone new.
monday was half a day off for me. so i went to dimsum with two friends. i ate lots and looking back i ate lots over the weekend. overall this christmas time was better than ones in the past. i'm not sure where i might be, but i will try to remember Jesus for He is the reason for the celebration.

where's my place

friday started awful. i don't want to get into details but it was terrible. the night at our restaurant was quiet. we had quite of number of ppl coming but not too busy. i got off around 830pm, and went to the japanese church's church house. i arrived just as the gift exchange was coming to a close. afterwards, i thought some ppl might stay but all the family left. so i was left talking with the pastor (young female pastor) and the other boarders. we talked on relationship. one of the person, is korean and she related her story about dating a korean who was raised in canada. i related in the struggle i have with finding my soul mate as we speak. then i talked for an hour with some guys and this other girl whose at the house. it was part idle talk but was good to talk. afterwards i picked up my mother who was at kobe's staff party. it was just after 1am. appraently ppl came late and so it was around the time it started to slow down. i talked to my mother how i'm losing my place with the japanese church. how there's many family and for a single person, it's difficult in someways to fit in. right now, there are few single ppl but it seems the majority are married, divorced or remarried. i look at holy trinity and see that it is a struggle there to find my place. there's not many single ppl, especially men. i said i'm looking for a soul mate but i would like to find some likeminded men who i could casually have a beer or something. and then there's sol, sol is a place for solitude, a place i could go to get away from any organized church. (i mean in terms of holy trinity or the japanese church) joining sol is getting away from the japanese culture and being able to be canadian. to speak english, think in english, engage in english. it makes me forget at times of my own japanese identity. i'm glad that there is a group like sol.
so i ask myself where's my place in this world. i know this place is temporary but i think it's important to have a place. i'm thinking of going into the artistic world but my christian world will still be important. i hope to stay in edmonton. being able to go to holy trinity, the japanese church and to sol. these are my places but right now the japanese church seems out of place. that i have no place inside the group. i feel like an outsider looking in. just an observer. if i'm just that then i might as well cut myself out of the picture. and that will leave two and i think that might just be alright.

christmas at the sol

last night we had a christmas party at sol cafe. we sang carols, did a pagaent and ate sweet food. yum. it's nice to be included and welcomed in a group like this. the ppl are so nice and i wish to get to know them more in the new year. sol cafe is good for me for it gets me out and out from the japanese church culture. it seems that a group like sol cafe suits me. well i hope everyone at sol and every friend i know have a safe happy Merry Christmas

rejoice in the Lord

sunday seems to be full. it's supposed to be a day of rest for me. it ends up being a full day. this day was really full. however i'd like to share highlights from this day.
first i was at the 830 service at holy trinity. eileen pointed out the verse, rejoice in the Lord always as her main point of her sermon. she pointed out the reason, and the main reason is the present state, that God is active right now. even in these stressful times we need to rejoice not a fake but genuine rejoicing. there is other aspects but this was the point i came out with.
secondly i was at japanese church. there is a men's group which meets at 130 for study. since daniel my friend and leader was absent, the three of us just talked. we talked about language and about japanese school. it was great just to sit and talk.
thirdly, i went to sol cafe. where we learned the real story of Jesus' birth. how the shepherds were the first to see Jesus after his birth. and that the wise men came probably 2years after Jesus' birth. joe pointed out how the angels, shepherds and wise men are parallel to the way people come to know God. it was a new perspective and something i never thought of. i'm glad that there is a group like sol. it has given me a different perspective and has made me think again.
lastly i met with my friend takeshi. we went to a korean restaurant. and we talked about what's been happening. he's one year older than me but he's shy. however i enjoy talking with him. i'm glad to have a friend like him. and i hope we could develop a stronger relationship. he's not a christian but he has perspectives that i find is helpful to me.
so i sit after 2200, a bit tired, a bit sick (my crohn's seems to be acting up again) but these sunday's is one day i cherish the most. the reason it's the only day i am around people.

reflections on christmas

since there is so much that many are writing about christmas. i thought i share my thoughts on christmas. until recently i did not much think seriously about christmas. i knew it was a celebration of Jesus' birth. other than that it was time to buy things for friends and family. these days it means alot more. reflecting through with advent, i have gained more about the meaning. it's funny how christmas has been designated as one of the last holiday before we begin the new year. i think it's important for those of us christians to take this holiday season, to reflect, look foward to what God has done in our lives. i hope to do so.
on this topic of christmas, i'd like to say, christmas is hard to celebrate for me. it used to be we'd have people over christmas day. since we've started the business, we're too tired to invite people. Since my dad's enjoyment comes from eating in front of tv. and for me the two day off means time to clean. i just can't really get into celebtory mood. i thought of volunteering and if there is an opening for anything, i'd rather do that then stay home. i wish there is a place i could go. if not i'm not sure what to do. christmas eve is fine since there are services i could attend. it's the actual day that i dread. i'm not sure if i want to go the japanese church for service. i'll attend morning eucharist but aside from it, i don't expect much.

this weekend

well it's been a week since my last post. this blog is a means for me to communicate and let my friends around this world know what's going in my life. for those who live near me, i should sit down and have a coffee. however with my work schedule it's sometimes difficult, so i find this at time useful. i just hope more people are reading.
anyways, this weekend was fun. i was at a retreat over the weekend. i got to know some new people. the meditations joe gave really challenged me. i enjoyed playing the games as well. it was good to get out and not worry about some things. finally on sunday being at sol was really good. we reflected on prophecy of Jesus. so it was a fine weekend.